Feathery Friends Rejoice as Car Owners Vacate Garages in Place Of Their Junk, Allowing for unrestricted Poop-and-Perch Opportunities
In a shocking turn of events, birds in suburbia have been spotted doing aerial cartwheels and backflips in excitement as more and more homeowners are filling their garages with junk instead of their cars. The birds, who have long been fans of perching on cars and leaving their mark, have been thrilled to see an increase in “poop-worthy” cars in driveways.
But not everyone is thrilled about the avian trend. Local junk removal company, Gorilla Junk Services, has reported a spike in calls from homeowners looking to clear out their cluttered garages, leaving the birds feeling dejected and without any cars to decorate.
“It’s heartbreaking,” said one local blue jay. “Just when we thought we had found the ultimate canvas for our art, the cars disappear and we’re left with nothing but boring old garages to poop on.”
But the birds aren’t giving up just yet. They’re urging homeowners to think twice before calling in the junk removal experts over at Gorilla Junk Services and to instead keep their cars parked in the driveway.
“We may be birds, but we still have an appreciation for the finer things in life,” said one particularly eloquent pigeon. “And let’s be real, nothing is finer than a freshly pooped-on car.”